The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

 

Sound of Music
Arguably the most famous scene in The Sound of Music (look at her not give a fork)
I finished this book about a month ago and it is drastically different from a traditional self-help book. This book is geared towards reality and literally shatters those rose-colored glasses and suggests that you can’t do everything and you won’t accomplish everything that you set your mind to.

Some sad spit, right?

I mean, I knew that being a late-night-TV-show-host/Broadway star/Teacher was something that I could do, but having to accept the fact that I might not be able to do the other 2/3rds of my dream job? I mean do all those participation trophies amount to nothing?! Well, it’s okay, I’ll survive.

Even though the book is titled The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you shouldn’t give any fork, just be selective of them. Yes, be selective of your forks. Truly not giving any forks isn’t healthy, it’s what you give a fork about that makes life worth it. I believe that you should do whatever you want and you should do it unapologetically. Today I was talking to one of my co-teachers about a tattoo I wanted. She asked, “What if you regret it?

I try my best to not regret any of my decisions. Some of my decisions may not have ended well, but what I chose was exactly what I wanted at that point in time. It’s like when you go partying one night with your friends and you go hard, like you went to a bar and they had an all-you-can-drink special for ₩15000 (around $12) and you wake up the next day drunk as fork; like you go that hard.

Most people at this point usually have one of two thought processes:

  • Why the did I drink so much last night?
  • Last night was lit as fork dude.

Be the second one. Don’t regret anything and don’t apologize for the shirt you want to do.

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The Book of Joy

I began reading The Book of Joy (again). I began reading it and I felt like I honestly learned many different things through the experiences of these men, but I only got half way through the book because, as with many books I begin, life gets in the way. Trying to juggle having a social life, learning new things, and an appropriate amount of sleep; I couldn’t fit reading into my schedule. So, I’ve started from the very beginning of this book, trying to get a closer “read”, jotting down notes, putting stars around different passages, and underlining sentences that leave an impression on me, I’ll get to that later. Let me go back to the beginning.

I was initially interested in this book because I saw a YouTube video of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu together. Through that video you could see and feel joy overflowing between these two “holy men”. If you look at pictures of their interactions, you can just feel the love.

Another reason why I started reading this book was because I felt like I needed to get my shit together. I honestly do believe that I am happy a lot of the time, but what I’ve gathered through the part that I’ve read, happiness and joy are two different beasts that often get interchanged with one another. Most books about happiness and joy usually end up saying that the answer is in you, but this book argues that we need other people to feel true joy.

One quote that stuck out to me the most from what I’ve read is a Tibetan saying: Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home. This quote has been underlined, highlighted, starred, the whole shebang. That’s how important it is to me, it hits the right cord.

The first rule that I made up a long time ago to live my life was: Do whatever you need to be happy. Which is something that I wholeheartedly believed in, but is happiness enough? This book argues that happiness is short term, while joy is something that is entirely different. Am I feeling joy or happiness during my time here in Korea? If we find joy in other people, do people find joy with me too?

-Michael.